As I mentioned in my blog about non-music goals, there are many advantages in giving a child music education. But tucked beneath the practices and lessons there is a perk for parents in providing music education to a child; it enhances the parent’s relationship with the child.
I guess I had never thought about it until one of my readers asked me to blog on the topic (thanks, suzukimama!) But providing piano lessons for our daughter and violin lessons for our son has definitely added a dimension to our relationship. Because I am a piano teacher and public school teacher, I often regarded practice time with my kids as an extension of my job. So I sought out other venues to build our relationship: walks to the bakery, hours of reading together on the window seat, play dates at the park, ice skating, etc. The music lessons were just something I believed in as part of a well rounded education.
But the lessons began to lead to other outings: recitals, music institutes, group lessons, concerts. Both of my children loved these outings. Because my husband and I are both music teachers, our children went to our school music events. Watching their father conduct the school orchestra and me conducting the school choirs and musical theatre became regular outings. We took advantage of the city’s theatrical productions, ballets, operas and other cultural events and our children loved it all.
In reflection, I guess I didn’t realize the effect on our relationship while I was in the moment. But now that our children are in college, I realize the role that those early music lessons provided. My daughter, as a side income at school and during the summer teaches piano. After her lessons she is bursting to tell me every detail about the lesson and to get advice. She was home this summer and when I was teaching she would stop to listen, not only to the student, but to my comments. The enriching thing for me was that she offered advice to my students too. How great for my students!
Our son was a Rotary exchange student in Japan last year. Because of his violin expertise he was able to learn the koto and shamisen very easily. He was excited about this and took us to his shamisen lesson when we visited. What an amazing experience to share.
Has music lessons enhanced our relationship with our children? I have to say it has; it only took me 18 years to realize it!
I’m sure as your kids grow further into adulthood you’ll realize it even more! I know when I was growing up I took my parents’ involvement with music completely for granted. But now that I have my own kids, I’ve come to appreciate my parents much more. They were a HUGE source of support for me when we went through the trauma of “breaking up” with one teacher and looking for another. And the pleasure they take from their grandchildren’s musical achievements always makes my day.